Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
