Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
