I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
