if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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