Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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