Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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