Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
