dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
