you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Randomize
