I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
