The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
