Well apparently he's into motor boating.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
