oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My vagina just clenched in fear
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
