How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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