things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
