it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
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I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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