I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
