I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
