I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
