That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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