I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
