He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
