I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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