I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
