i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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