For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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