i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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