Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
