we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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