call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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