I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
