Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
