I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
