i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize