So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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