What a fucking waste of an outfit
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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