he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
