Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Randomize
