There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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