im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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