I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
