DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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