i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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