He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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