Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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