my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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