im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
