Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
