is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
