i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
