operation have a gay friend backfired
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
