apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
