that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
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How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
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When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
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