Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
where am i from again
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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