Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
