That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Farmville is her only friend.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
