this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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