Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
