i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
