Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm getting married
To pizza
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
