I should be sponsored by Trojan
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize