dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
