I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
