I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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