I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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