i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
